There are many that believe that one of the functions of the unconscious mind is to repress some memories until a point in time where it believes they can be reviewed and dealt with safely. (Thanks Steve!)

Does it balance the need to suppress something that can’t yet be dealt with against the negative effects on the body of the act of suppression?

Of course, we are all different. I think a balance needs to be met. Did you read a post of mine a few months back about a woman so badly abused by her father and grandfather that she created multiple personalities to deal with the abuse so that she would not feel the pain so much? This was her way of supressing her trauma and it proved valuable in many respects.

That said, if we then hold onto it until it is long past it’s sell-by date, it could possibly eat away at us and continue to affect us detrimentally when it should be let go of.

Therefore, I conclude that we extend the ‘bottling it’ metaphor and treat everyone like they are a well shaken coca-cola bottle…. Allow to settle for a while and then twist the lid at a pace that allows the gas to flow without flying and exploding everywhere… Maybe even tightening the lid back again if things seem to volatile… Though you would not want to leave the opening until the sell-by date had expired.

Popular consumer culture eeking its way into therapeutic study – lovely 😉

I was talking to a mate of mine today and I could just tell he wasn’t happy. I didn’t beat about the bush and simply asked him what was wrong. Men don’t tend to do that and I know I took him by surprise.

Once he had told me what was wrong I realised that he had been having to invent much of the earlier conversation – or rather skate around certain things.

I believe that bottling up – not only is a lonely unhappy experience but that also the person has to live some lies to the outside world. What pressure does that add.

I suppose it does depend what you are bottling up. If it involves domestic issues then some of the revelations can be embarrassing and I can understand that there may be more problems associated with outing the situation.

Whereas if it is a 9/11 type supression of traumatic experiences then I fail to see how talking about it will not allow a therapist to help once the real problem is identified.

I must admit that the findings of the research do surprise me and I would like to know more about the methodology etc.

Interesting points made and I would agree that ‘talking about it’ is not the right approach for everyone. It makes sense to me that those wanting to talk most are those most affected. There appears to be an immediate and unquestioned assumption that 9/11 was traumatic for everyone, but that may not be the case. Different people have different views and opinions on what happened and why it happened and who actually did it. A person’s own world view determines in part how they react to events. Two people could have exactly the same experience and one could be severely traumatised, whilst the other might deal with it very effectively.

I don’t think bottling it up is a good idea, but not wanting to talk about an experience does not in itself imply that the person is bottling it up. Some people can process emotional stuff themselves very quickly and efficiently. Some people take a long time and need a great deal of support.

This is the era of the blog and the era when people express themselves and reach an audience of thousands if not millions. Bottling things up is, it seems: “so last century”.

I’ve been through some quite tough times in my life. Nothing compared to what many people have gone through and still go through on a daily basis and I claim no monopoly on sadness or tough times. But I experienced such times nonetheless and I bottled things up.

Without sounding arrogant (I hope as I’m not), getting to know the real me is a full time degree course and I have, quite often, made it difficult for others to get close to me. I bottle things up. I don’t tell people how I feel, I don’t share problems, I don’t talk about things that bother me… all very ironic for a man who spends his days working in the media.

Without sounding too dramatic, if I had continued bottling things up as much as I used to, I wouldn’t be around to be writing this.

I remember listening to Paul McKenna discussing this issue on one of his TV shows (and on the Positivity CD set which his company were kind enough to send me). Focusing on the issue is, to an extent, focusing on the problem and focusing on the problem doesn’t really move people forward towards a solution.

But a solution can only be born from a problem. If you’ve no idea what the problem is you can’t find the solution.

Say a person had a bad experience in their childhood. The person recognises that the experience is in the past but, to a small extent, the past is informing the present. The event in the past is part of the person and the person is part of the event. Focusing on the event in therapy would make the person feel bad as they would be forced to identify once again with the time the experience occurred. They’d be thrown back into a time in their life where they felt uncomfortable, hurt, upset etc

On the other hand, focusing on the event and then getting the person to realise and appreciate that the event is “just a memory from the past which is gone and can’t hurt them and is something they are in control of” could do a lot of good.

These are, as ever, just thoughts and reflections.

http://www.joinmartin.wordpress.com