Comments on: Are You Allowed To Cry?

By: Gráinne

Gráinne — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 20:48:04 +0000

I do actually think the Secret Millionaire is genuinely surprisingly touching though. The millionaires go in with a preconceived idea about the place and the people they’ll meet. They generally expect to find wasters and scoundrels living off benefits because they can’t be bothered doing anything else. Instead they find these fantastic communities with people who have nothing and yet work for those they see as less fortunate. They manage to find a sense of community that I thought had been pretty much obliterated and find truly generous people who give what little they have to others, and if they have nothing give their time and love. Even when the millionaire tries to give money to them at the end they usually are thrilled only because they can follow through on plans to help even more people. The “goodness” always gets to me…as well as making me feel humbled. And reminding me of the loving kindness that exists if only we look for it 🙂

By: Adam Eason

Adam Eason — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 07:00:36 +0000

Thank you Mike, lovely story… And Gráinne, thanks again, your contributions are highly valued 🙂

A couple of weeks ago I cried at the X-Factor… Man oh man… The guy who had lost his wife, was rearing his children alone and was singing to his deceased wife in his audition… And who was very good…

We were sitting down at a wedding the following weekend, and after a few drinks we mentioned that we had been wobbly chinned with this episode of the X-factor… All the other men around the table said they had got emotional and cried too… Or at least ‘glassy eyed’…. It was very funny…

By: Grá

Grá — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 22:21:39 +0000

Don’t think I cry excessively…but do succumb at times! And it is a release. Sometimes it’s more a sign of needing to catch up on sleep or take a break from study. Like when I feel a bit choked up at the end of episodes of Secret Millionaire. Gets me every time! Sad 🙂

Wonder though if some of the people who are depressed or anxious don’t feel that release because of their attitude to crying? If you felt that “breaking down” was a sign of weakness or of not coping, it would be a very negative experience rather than catharsis…

By: Mike Reeves-McMillan

Mike Reeves-McMillan — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:17:30 +0000

Adam, I worked with a client recently, a lovely older man, who came to me because he was very sentimental and would tear up while telling uplifting or happy stories or watching TV shows which featured such stories (yes, there are a few shows like that). He was going to be giving a speech at a family function, and had also accepted a position which would require public speaking fairly frequently, and wanted to be more in control of his emotional reaction.

I used the “control panel” technique with him (giving him a mental metaphor of a slider or dial which he could use to adjust the strength of his reaction) so that he could still tear up when it didn’t matter but could “dial it back” when he wanted to. Last I heard from him it was working well.

I think it’s becoming more and more acceptable for men to cry, which can only be a good thing. If you’re not dealing with your emotions, they’ll throw off your physiological balance and make you ill.